14 Feb 2019

keep up with what I’ve been reading lately

Photo by Lina Kivaka from Pexels

Sometimes, I feel like I’m enduring life instead of living it. However, that’s a story for another time. Today, I’m sharing the slew of books that I’ve been reading. Last year, I read over a hundred books and some were epic disappointments but most put my heart on pause. Also, I’ve been making a concerted effort to read books written by non-binary POC. I think it’s important to widen my white purview and support artists who are putting brave, wonderful work out into the world. I’ll use this space to document my book journey this year.

Imagine a world where men ceased to exist. They’ve been cast off, considered dangerous and impure, and a woman’s only way of survival was to take shelter on a protected island where they endure various physical and mental contortions to return to their former, healthier selves. the water cureNow, imagine the only man you’ve allowed trespass to that island is your father–he’s devoted his life to “protecting” the women–and suddenly he’s gone. This is the world we encounter in the opening of Sophie Mackintosh’s remarkable debut, The Water Cure. The novel seems to eclipse space and time–we know it may be the present day-ish, but we’re not entirely sure, and it seems this is a place that may be in Britain, but that’s uncertain too–all of which I think is the point of Mackintosh’s world. It doesn’t matter when and where we are, we’ve walked into the action–en media res, as it were–and we’re here to accept the world as delivered to us.

King is the father and he’s created a territory guarded with barbed wire for his wife and three daughters, Grace, Lia, and Sky. The men on the mainland are violent, dangerous. For most of their lives, they’ve continued to endure a series of cures–from drinking salt water until their stomach retches to deciding between murdering a small animal or hurt their sister–that are psychologically manipulative and a complete farce. But the girls don’t know that. Yet. Their fragile, idyllic world is disturbed after the death of their father and the arrival of the men–two adults and a young boy washed ashore. For a week, the women completely unravel. Their love and loyalty are tested, but mostly they discover cold truths about their family and the life they’d be living in isolation. Can they survive the men, the book asks? Absolutely.

Tommy Orange will punch you in the face with his arresting, powerful prose. I’m loathed to even use that term “prose,” but it’s true. I realize it’s odd to start off with fawning over the writing, but it is its own genius, a character that rises above the rest. Read the first few pages after the prologue and you’ll see what I mean. I’ll be honest and say that I’m not entirely familiar with the extensive history, brutality, and shame that has followed Native Americans since all of us (Americans) descended and stole their home from them. Sure, I’m familiar with the fantasy-land story that is Thanksgiving and the horrifying and brutal murders and tortures of Indians in the 1600s, and I’ve kept up with news reports, but nothing as deep, rich, and painful as Tommy Orange’s There There.

I read somewhere once that fiction has the ability to tell us more about our society at a particular point in time than nonfiction and I believe this to be true. I’ve learned so much about cultures through the novels and people who’ve written them, which has inspired me to continue to self-educate. I have a lot of opinions (mostly searingly negative) about this current wave of nationalism considering the fact that we’re all immigrants–we stole this land from Native Americans and pilfered California from the Mexicans and Spanish. But we’re not here for a history lesson or to chat politics. Orange weaves a series of disparate interconnected narratives of people who are traveling to the big Powwow in Oakland. It’s odd that I would buy this book around the same time I saw Blindspotting–both brilliant takes on the Oakland both artists knew as kids, and how they’ve witnessed the influx of money and the inevitable white-washing. We meet Jacquie Red Father, newly sober, cloaked in loss and grief, making her way back to her family after a shameful incident. Orvil, a curious teenager who teaches himself traditional Indian dance via YouTube videos in secret. Edwin Black, a shut-in who only just discovered his Native origin. Abuse, suicide, loss, addiction–Tommy Orange does not spare us from the greatness and burden of bearing your great heritage–one that white people keep trying to disappear.

OH MY GOD, I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH. Okay fine, some of the alternative narratives were confusing and could’ve used a little bit more editorial life, but whatever. Fatima Farheen Mizra’s A Place for Us is devastating and extraordinary. The book opens with tensions flaring during the eldest daughter Hadia’s wedding–a match of love instead of tradition. The wedding is the Trojan Horse for a family reunion that basically takes a pitchfork and plunges it into everyone’s old wounds. Amar hasn’t seen his family in three years, and we don’t yet why his appearance sets everyone’s teeth on edge. All we know at the present is that everyone is tending to their wounds.

The book cycles back to Rafiq and Layla’s arranged marriage and arrival in America and various points in the children’s lives where we see them straddle tradition and their Muslim faith in a post-9/11 country that’s increasingly viewing people as if they’re the enemy. We see the pain of conforming and living steadfastly for your culture and beliefs. We also see how tradition can bind families but also wreck them when a little thing like love or loss comes into play, and how sometimes our parent’s best intentions can become our ruin. I know I’m being deliberately cryptic, but there’s so much beauty in this book–from the relationships between the siblings to the sometimes discomforting knowledge that parents don’t always love their children equally to the ways in which we deal with heartbreak and loss.

Okay, on to something lighter. Well, sort of. Julia Claiborne Johnson’s Be Frank With Me is downright charming! M.M. (Mimi) Banning is the J.D. Salinger of our time minus the questionable inappropriate relationships with young women/teenage girls. She wrote a seminal book when she was young, made a mint, and decided to hole up in her Beverly Hills mansion for most of her life until she falls prey to a Bernie Madoff-style Ponzi scheme. Flat broke, she needs to make cash so she’s back in front of the typewriter for the first time in decades. Her New York publisher sends Alice Whitley, an assistant, as his planted spy.

Soon Alice becomes enveloped into this eccentric world centered on a nine-year-old boy who sports the wardrobe of a 1930s movie star, lives on old movies, and finds that his ascots, cravats, and acerbic wit don’t fit in with the other fourth-graders. As Frank and Alice become close, Alice becomes consumed with finding out who his real father is, and how Xander–the hot handyman cum mentor–fits into the picture. And will Mimi ever write that book? I have a cold dead heart and I have to say this book warmed it up right quick.

I just finished this book and YOU NEED TO READ IT ASAP. I keep talking about how I was a book snob for years and I’m glad I recovered from the sickness that is stupid because I would’ve missed the best thrillers out there. Case in point, Jessica Barry’s Freefall is ACES. Allison wakes from a frightening plane crash in the Colorado Rookies. As the plane smokes, she gathers as much sustenance as she can because she knows the crash wasn’t an accident and someone is looking for because she knows the kind of information people would kill for.

The book is structured as a dueling narrative. As Allison makes her way down the mountain, starved and injured, and tries to make the journey east back to her mother, we learn about the life that forced her on that plane. We then meet her mother Maggie, who still hasn’t recovered from the recent loss of her husband and refuses to believe that her daughter is dead. After seeing a society photograph that barely resembles the daughter she’s known (yet is now estranged from), she embarks on a journey to learn everything that’s happened her daughter in the past two years. Barry’s pacing is incredible as the two narratives are always in synch and information is dropped at the right moments to increase and satisfy tension. You will never guess some of the twists!!! If you live thrillers involving big pharma and family stories, you will LOVE this one.

I’ll be honest, reading Lacy Johnson’s The Other Side was tough. Not because it wasn’t extraordinary–it was, reminding me of Maggie Nelson’s Jane: A Murder and The Red Parts for some reason, which is probably one of the finest compliments I can give a book because I love Maggie Nelson THAT MUCH. No, this disturbed me because of the subject matter. Like many women in America, I’ve also been sexually assaulted. Not on the level of Lacy’s horrific kidnapping and torturing at the hands of her sociopathic ex-boyfriend, but I identified with the aftermath. The need to be normal, yet you’re still frightened. The need for erasure as a form of self-protection, yet the desire for justice.

The memoir opens with Lacy’s escape. She shows up at a police station with a U-bolt still clasped around her wrist. Her captor flees the country and Lacy begins the work of piecing together their history and leans on her familial relationships as context for the relationship. This book is more than an account of the kidnapping, abuse, and rape. It’s about a woman looking back at an unconscionable act, the trauma she experienced, and the transformation that occurred as she now writes from the place of being a healthy mother of two children. I loved everything about this book, however, it’s DARK.



Full Disclosure: I use Amazon affiliate links, which means I make a whopping $3 when you buy books, which contributes to my site hosting fees. So, in short, I don’t make any money off this.


  1. Pamela wrote:

    Thanks for these. Will add to my book club list.

    Posted on 2.15.19 · Reply to comment

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  • As you guys know, I am BIG on education. My goal for this year is to share as much education and free resources on freelancing, marketing, and writing as possible. I'm even switching email list providers (moving to ConvertKit) so I can send you better emails related to what you're interested in. Don't care about the brand stuff, but want to know more about writing? I GOT YOU. When I sell resources, I want them to be relatively affordable. So, I'm starting small with a MONSTER guide on freelancing. I originally thought this was going to be 100 pages. Well, it's 150+ pages with 40% of NEW content I'm writing RIGHT NOW. Templates, how-tos, personal stories, resources, and everything you need to know about getting started, getting clients, onboarding them, managing them, and dealing with them when they drive you bonkers. .

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  • In this era of competitiveness and self-serving "entrepreneurs," it's rare to come across a peer who is generous with their work and their heart. Rarely am I moved by people, but today I was on the receiving end of an act of kindness that I had to share. 
I contacted a peer in the marketing space, a woman whom I revere and admire. She's young, smart, passionate, hardworking, and knows more about marketing than most people I've encountered in my two-decade-long career. 
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So many people paint consultants, marketers, educators and course providers with a broad brush. Yes, there are hoards of incompetent hustlers. People who don't do what they teach. But there are those who are bright lights. And today I was reminded of that. 
There are good people out there and I can still be surprised by kindness.
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  • With the exception of the cruelty that is tax day, I’m toasting some professional wins. I’m creating a comprehensive ebook on freelancing—the ultimate guide before I go the course route. Hit the link in my bio to subscribe to my email list to get all the details! I’m excited about this one because I’m rocking the baby steps before marathon approach.
Inspired by one of my professional heroes, @byreginatv, I removed 2,000 people from my email list and it felt glorious. Don't be tethered to a vanity metric. If people aren't connecting with you, the numbers are meaningless. I'd rather have a smaller, engaged audience of people who are into my vibe and work than the ability to shout out a high subscriber count. #foodforproverbialthought.
I’ve got new book recommendations up on my personal blog: http://www.feliciacsullivan.com if you want to devour some excellent reads.

Finally, aided by a new friend, I’m going to my first Quilt chat this week. The Wing isn’t my vibe and it’s can’t rationalize spending the money and Quilt is my scene. I’ll likely be chatting about this in my newsletter as I’m FINALLY in a place where I can network in a non-smarmy setting.
Here’s to an excellent start to the week!
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  • This year is shaping up to be my best yet, and I’m happy to have made it out of the dark country. I’m writing work that means so much to me. I’m reading 2 books a week. I’m tackling challenging, but thrilling projects. I’m collaborating with brilliant, beautiful friends. And I’m calm, centered, and focused. It too a long while and a breakdown to get here, but I’m grateful for my small patchwork of a family who always checked in, hired me when I desperately needed it, and didn’t flee when things got tough. Sometimes you need to feel the weight of your sadness to unburden yourself of it. Here’s to yummy lunches and the best year yet!
  • Over the past two years, I’ve been toying with teaching. I’ve taught marketing to creatives at USC. I’ve taught creative writing in New York. I’ve mentored employees and friends. I love learning and sharing what I’ve learned, and forpeople I know and love I often do it for free. 
So, what’s stopped me? Honestly, the machine that’s become the online course industry irritates me. Webinars that waste time. Who wants to watch a 45-minute infomercial? Not me. Or how about the fake fan love and Instagram platforms that are transparently transactional? Courses that are a million dollars, taught by people who haven’t done the thing they’reteaching beyond their own privileged platform. And did I mention that everyone looks the same? The super stars are white, well educated, and bragging about their seven-figure incomes. 
I mean, COME ON. 
Listen. I’m half-white, privileged as fuck, well educated, but I definitely don’t make seven figures. And I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated with freelancers who call themselves brand strategists (aka, predators posing as house pets) making bank, yet they lack the experience, education, and discipline. But I’ve learned that complaining does nothing if you’re not creating, if you’re not putting out the thing you want to see in the world. I spent two months creating an 8-step tutorial on how to build a brand platform because I was tired of people not having access to education and opportunity because they couldn’t drop $1,500 on a brand-building course.

Then I thought about how I need to stop complaining about the shady machine that is the online course space and put out the education I want to see in the world, made accessible to people who don’t look like me or have the fancy-pants Ivy League degrees I have (which have driven me to paralyzing debt, but that’s a whole other bag of sad tricks). I’m planning two courses: one on getting into the freelancing game and another on building your brand and finding your customer. Interested? Sign up for my email list (link in bio), where I’ll keep everyone posted.
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  • It may only be 5:48am, but I woke to amazing news. I’m toasting with coffee and a scone this morning. I’m partnering with brilliant friends and marketers (eh-hem, @luciaioevans) on incredible projects, my pipeline is healthy, my mental health is aces since I got off all personal social media. Granted, I won’t be able to see humans for the next two months as I’m locked down with some major projects, but I am not complaining. I’m ELATED. It’s all happening!!!! Yay! Finally!!!
  • You guys. I’m having an incredible fucking year. I’ve published tutorials, thought leadership and essays I’m proud of, I’m working with incredible clients who are breaking ranks, I’m partnering with brilliant people on projects, my pipeline is healthy, my mental health is getting back on track, and I’m reorganizing my business so I can run it more efficiently. Sometimes you have to applaud the wins, especially when they’ve been earned.
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  • What a day! Ive been floored and humbled by the tens of THOUSANDS who viewed my 8-part brand building series on medium (link in bio)! I’ve heard from four university professors who want to incorporate my work as assigned reading, the people who were grateful not to have to spend $2K on some wack course taught by an “expert” whose only success example is their personal brand.
Today, I had a day of interviews that culminated in a presentation to the executive team. After it ended, several people asked if I’d considered teaching because I just delivered a master class on brand strategy.
It feels good to know your stuff but still have the hunger and drive as a student!
#brandstrategy #marketing #brand #freelancer #nofauxmarketer #therealdeal #beingboss

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