13 Nov 2016

pasta bolognese

This might not be the kind of meal you want to photograph, but it’s one certainly worth eating. I’ll tell you something that may sound pretty gross, but it’s one of the few fond memories from my childhood. Growing up, I ate pasta. A lot. Lasagne, spaghetti and meatballs–the whole lot. And while the meal…

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11 Nov 2016

simple coconut cake

It’s been a while since I’ve made a cake. Yesterday, I spoke with my agent about a new book I’ve been working on. It’s the story of a middle-aged woman who becomes obsessed with a suicidal teenager and travels across the country to witness the girl take her own life. But that wasn’t always the…

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04 Nov 2016

odds & ends

I’ve taken a hiatus from political news and election coverage, because even though I voted early I’m experiencing fatigue. Apparently, we’re all stressed and our connection to the truth is precarious, at best. We’re overwhelmed by the rage, anger and blind hate in this country. We’re tired of turning on our televisions to wonder what will…

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27 Oct 2016

the first hurt

Back in the day there wasn’t a cigarette we wouldn’t smoke or a chicken skin we didn’t wrench from its bone. We put the television on blast because hearing Archie Bunker yell at Edith was better than the thumping from above and below. Heads got smacked into walls, babies were crying in every direction, and…

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23 Oct 2016

thai sweet potato + carrot soup

It occurs to me that I never complete the “in case of emergency” line on most forms. Sometimes, a receptionist will tell me it’s mandatory, that they have to have a person with whom they could contact in the event of… In response, I make a joke. I say, my friends will know what’s up…

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17 Oct 2016

hello, home

[vimeo 187669269 w=640 h=480] There was a time when I believed that home was simply a place where my mail was forwarded, and the only thing I loved about a house was leaving it. It’s depressing when you think about it–the feeling of not belonging to any one place, of closing a door and still not…

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01 Oct 2016

a phoebe + kate update // on playing small

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js Everyone wants to be big. Everyone wants that McMansion life. A friend introduces me to someone and says, Felicia started an agency. I recoil in response. I joke about how I’m allergic to certain words: marriage, guru, agency. Another friend asks me about my plans for this non-agency. Do I want to be big?…

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01 Oct 2016

have you ever visited a psychic?

I should preface this by saying that I’m a skeptic. I’m pragmatic, tethered to that which is scientific and logical. I grew up an agnostic, became a Christian, and then abandoned my faith because I stopped believing. Now, I’m an atheist who tries to find wonder in the world. And while I’m in awe of this…

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08 Sep 2016

chocolate swirl coffee cake (vegan/gluten-free)

It’s important to say what hope is not: it is not the belief that everything was, is, or will be fine. The evidence is all around us of tremendous suffering and tremendous destruction. The hope I’m interested in is about broad perspectives with specific possibilities, ones that invite or demand that we act. It’s also not…

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  • Do the thing that chills you down to the bone. I keep saying this like it’s a sermon, a song, and it’s taken me to places I couldn’t have ever imagined.
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I moved to Los Angeles nearly three years because I need to get lost, uncomfortably so, so I could find myself, scrubbed and renewed. And these three years have been some of the hardest I’ve known, but also humbling, exhilarating, and clarifying. In my search for quiet and calm, I could finally hear myself. And when you hear, you start to listen to what you want versus what the world tells you to want. And that’s when the magic happens.
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This year, I made a point of serving women and the marginalized. I got tired of making white men richer; the rest of us deserve the sky too. And in that work, I got further clarity on what else I wanted. I wanted to work with women my age to help them define their second acts. Moving from success to significance, now that we’re more conscious of the fact that we have fewer years ahead of us. Morbid, I know, but recognizing time as the most valuable thing we have has a way of making us surgical about our wants.
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Today, I closed on a project with a peer and good friend. She’s a successful entrepreneur who wanted to reshape her business to be more of a purpose-driven one. I feel humbled that she trusted me with her vulnerability. She told me she was buying clarity and perspective. I gave her that and a framework. Before I left, she hugged me and told me she had a plan. That the road ahead was clear, structured and achievable. And damn that felt good.
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I’m in a Lyft on the 101 and I feel good. Strong. Confident. Sometimes I hate that I’m in my 40s, but it’s times like these when I’m grateful for the years. I’ve been through it all and I have perspective, knowledge, experience, and the kind of calm age breeds. I can’t even imagine what I’ll know in 10 years, 20
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And it feels really fucking good to lift another woman up.
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#realtalk #businesscoaching #storyteller #lifelessons #weekendvibes #thehustleisreal #femtrepreneur #entrepreneur #risingtidesociety
  • Four years ago, when this photo was taken, I attempted a return to my yoga practice. I practiced every nearly every day from 2001-2009, but then I stopped. When I tried again in 2014, I was ready to reassume the shapes I knew, physically, but I wasn’t prepared for how this practice changes you if you allow it. The practice makes you a humble student. It’s not about the asana. It’s about your work off the mat.
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My teacher once told me the mark of an advanced practitioner is not the yogi kicking up into handstand. That’s ego. Rather, it’s the yogi who goes to a basics class to relearn the poses as if she’s encountered them for the first time. That’s the practice. The work.
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At 42, this is the work I try to do every single day.
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#yoga #yogaposes #yogaeverydamnday #wednesdaywisdom #risingtidesociety #lifelessons #dothework
  • Do the thing that chills you down to the bone. I’ve been thinking about time a lot, as well as ambition.
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When I was young, I was hungry. I was aggressive and relentlessly ambitious to the point of being myopic. I had to prove something to the world, myself, perhaps my mother, and I needed to collect these totems or the signifiers of success.
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But there comes a point when you shift from desiring success to significance. The shift is imperceptible, but it happens because you start to be aware of time and the fact that you have fewer years ahead than behind. That realization is potent and frightening because death takes it all, strips us of ourselves and we return to that from which we’ve come. We can’t cart along our trophies and bank accounts and handbags to the afterlife. Those things have been reduced to dust and they no longer have any meaning.
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You start thinking about time and its value. Am I squandering it? Investing in it? Living it? Breathing through it.
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I’m frightened of death and the irony that I wanted to take my own life two years ago doesn’t escape me. I don’t have faith that could hold my hand and guide me through and out of the dark. I simply believe there’s nothing and this life is the one true thing I know of.
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Suddenly success morphs into significance because you start to do the math and wonder what you’ve done in this one beautiful life that will leave its mark. Maybe we’ll all be forgotten. Maybe we’ll leave indelible prints that linger. I don’t know.
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What I do know is that the definition of success is elusive. Just when you think you have it, it changes form. And the things I wanted five, ten years ago aren’t that which I desire now. There’s want, but it’s a different kind of want. There’s the want of designing a life that’s conscious, graceful, impactful, curiosity-driven, and remarkable.
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I sat down with a peer today and she trusted me as a marketer, and as someone at her level who could lend perspective. She has the tools, it’s just a matter of me being her guide and telling her that she alone can grant herself permission to shift her business and change her life.
  • When you’re trying to get WORK done and your pet is back on their bullshit.
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Who has a little one (pet, baby, cactus) they play with during the day to keep sane?
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#catstagram #tabbycat #thehustleisreal #freelancer #mondaymotivation #femtrepreneur #hussy #hussycats #imtryingtowork
  • My mother had died a year ago and this wasn’t about her. My pain exceeded her. I was in new terrain — a dark country to which I’d emigrated yet it was foreign to me. This wasn’t like the darkness of before, this was a fresh hurt. A ground that had given way beneath my feet and the fall felt bottomless. There existed no end to it. There was only the enormity of the hurt and its persistence. I woke to it. I carried the weight of it. I fell asleep to it. Even now I couldn’t meet my friend in the day because the light had become an assault.
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You don’t understand, I said. This is constant. Again with the blank stare. The discomfort and confusion. I had created a ripple, a disturbance in one place. I was no longer the fun friend who cracked jokes and entertained her for years. I had become something other.
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All I wanted was for her, for anyone, to say: I love you. I’m here for you. Tell me, what can I do?
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Have you thought about going back to yoga? she asked, signaling for the check. This is just a slump. You’ll snap out of it. You’ll see.
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It was if a curtain had fallen over our table and the room had gone black.
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I wrote about depression. HIT THE LINK IN PROFILE AND CLAP YOUR HEART OUT.
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#realtalk #depression #mentalhealth #femtrepreneur #entrepreneur #ladyboss #tbt #reallife #risingtidesociety #thehustle
  • ‪BIG NEWS. I’m piloting a 6-week group coaching course that covers how to validate your business concept and model, build your brand (story, positioning, benefits, message, voice and tone) and find/connect with your ideal customer.
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While there's a lot of garbage and woo phonies out there, I'm serving up the real deal. Who am I? I've published two books, built a $20MM company, and have worked with world-class brands and brilliant start-ups. I know how to tell stories.
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So, I'm launching a course that will focus on how to:
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🎈Define your brand and difference.
🎈Create a voice and style that's all your own--in everything from your writing to your fonts and photography.
🎈Get laser-focused on who your customer is and how to go after them.
🎈Write copy that puts your customer's heart on pause.
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If you're a small business owner or freelancer building their business or looking to build (or re-invent) your career through your brand, this is for you. This is for people who are tired of jargon and want the answers they need in plain old English. This is for people who are tired of the disappointing free downloads and courses taught by people who haven't achieved what they're hocking. This is for people who don't want to just color outside of the lines but want to torch the damn coloring book.
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Beta @ $1500. Weekly live sessions, hot seats, Slack group, weekly challenges, worksheets, tutorials. Ping me if you’re interested. contact@phoebeandkate.co
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#onlinecoaching #onlineclasses #brandstrategy #brandstrategist #thehustle #femtrepreneur #girlboss #marketing #storyteller #groupclass #wednesdaywisdom
  • What a magical, yummy time at @smorgasburgla. The vibe is SO different from NY. Fewer chef personalities. More home cooks and small businesses. Incredible ethnic food and such a cool energy all around.
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#weekendvibes #sundayfunday #smorgasburg #foodporn #foodstagram #food52 #instayum #tacos #arepas
  • Part of being a consultant is self-care. Now this isn’t about fancy candles and spending piles of money. This is about managing stress, anxiety, and the crippling self doubt we feel when we go at it alone.
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My self-care is all about meditation, medication, yoga, walking to clear my head and get the creative juices flowing, not taking on crazy clients, saying no, having me time and doing the thing that gives me calm—cook.
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For years I published a food blog, lovelifeeat.com where I documented thousands of dishes I made, baked, and ate.
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While I’m no longer feeling the blogging vibe and I had to hock the fancy camera, I’m back to cooking yummy food.
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And eating it, natch.
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What’s your self-care regimen?
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#clementinedaily #delish #eeeeats #eeeeeats #weekendvibes #sundayfunday #food52 #food52 #foodstagram #healthyeats #selfcare #thehustleisreal #femaleentrepreneur #instayum #yahoofood #buzzfeedfood #eatingwell #storyteller

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